Healing My Spirit

Often, children raised in fractured households mature prematurely, forfeiting the simple joys of play, fun, and silliness. Stripped of our innocence and trust in the world, we bear the weight of betrayal, fear, and shame, hindering our ability to embrace the carefree spirit of childhood. As adults, the childlike essence within us, which fosters genuine joy, remains elusive. Instead, we grapple with stress, anxiety, and apprehension.

Despite my efforts to reconcile my past, I found myself struggling to reconnect with my authentic self, my spirit. Despite numerous EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) sessions, I couldn't breach the surface of my consciousness.

Then, it happened.

During a pivotal therapy session, my therapist proposed a challenge. We retreated to my safe haven, the dock overlooking Lake Garfield. Through EMDR, she guided me on a swift journey back to my earliest sense of self, before memories took hold. I glimpsed myself as a child – carefree, innocent, and full of life. As I delved into a meditative state, she prompted me to visualize my six-year-old self beside me on the couch.

In that profound moment, a wall crumbled.

Beside me sat my younger self, radiant and pure. Her outstretched hand and gentle smile shattered the barriers within me.

My therapist encouraged me to reassure my younger self that she would be okay, that the burdens we carried were never ours to bear, and that our past traumas were not our fault.

In that sacred space, I experienced an unprecedented release of trauma and pain from my being. It's a surreal sensation, sitting alongside your younger self. But through her, I found forgiveness. I let go of the self-blame and guilt I had carried for not shouldering the weight.

It's a journey difficult to articulate, but sitting beside my inner child, I discovered healing and liberation.